An unfinished sympathy

Here's one very interesting start of a conversation, which is going to be continued sometime very soon, hopefully. I just wanted to share the good ideas with you. And I love metaphors. (It's also relevant when looking at the last sentence of my previous text-post.)

ave says:
it's sort of weird, the state i'm in, right now
ave says:
i'm pretty much on a blank page, when it comes to human relationships
ave says:
but there's still this tiny bit of gleam from the previous page ink.. (get my point?)
Jani says:
but now you have an excelent opportunity to grab that pen and create something you want to
ave says:
but you know the first few lines are the hardest part
ave says:
especially when your head and heart have emptied themselves completely
ave says:
i tied all the loose ends in tallinn this summer, and also in espoo, now
ave says:
and jyväskylä did it itself
ave says:
for example, i noticed that my state doesn't change one bit when JP is around
Jani says:
well, you can always have a small break from writing, chill, and look for inspiration
ave says:
but you know, the previous pages haven't been good enough to make a writing either. everything has been so scattered and blurry and made no sense whatsoever
ave says:
so, i'm still hungry for context
ave says:
not just the bare fact that there are words
ave says:
or some... symbols
ave says:
and the symbols haven't formed words and the words haven't formed sentences, this far
ave says:
disarray only.
ave says:
you see my point?
ave says:
so, in a way, i did turn another page. and i can sort of see the lines coming through paper from previous pages.. but it doesn't bother me
ave says:
what bothers me the most is that i'm afraid that i won't get inspired, or the better way to put it would be that the inspiration won't come to me. it'll just be another page of turbid nonsense
Jani says:
maybe you have to take a look and try to improve your writing technique
ave says:
i see your point. it's always about the writer, not the inspiration coming wrongly or from the wrong direction... yes?
Jani says:
i think insipiration can never be wrong, it's just that it takes the right kind of way to make good of it
ave says:
but doesn't inspiration sometimes modify by its own?
Jani says:
explain
ave says:
it's a bit hard
ave says:
you know, sometimes, inspiration might inspire you, but it's not the best kind you could get, whatever determines a 'good' inspiration anyway, but you know, things get complicated and in the end it gets distorted again, even though the writer had good intentions and knew, inside, how to write
Jani says:
then maybe you should write in a postmodernist style
Jani says:
=)
ave says:
explain
ave says:
( i think my life is so postmodern already... so could my book handle it also? )
ave says:
( could i, the writer, handle the postmodernism in my book? )
Jani says:
make the blurriness just a way of telling the story and take a light approach to relationships, like Tómas or Sabina in the Unbearable Lightness Of Being
ave says:
i guess what has made everything i've put down this far so heavy, is the blurriness. i have to resignificance it all to myself. this is going to be hard, and heavy, as i know how heavy i am with my thoughts in this category..
Jani says:
yeah
Jani says:
it's interesting. maybe we should continue on friday(?). now i should be off to bed to read some more =(
ave says:
its interesting, indeed, and now as i've read the unbearable lightness of being, we can talk it all through
ave says:
but i think i'm just going to ditch my pen and the book for a while and see what happens this way. maybe the open book in front of me is what has become a burden now. i mean, i can always open the book (again) if The Inspiration should come to me, right
Jani says:
exactly
ave says:
but good night for now. i think we just gave the devil a finger with this conversation and it's gonna swallow the whole of us
ave says:
but later.

What do You think about it?