A train of thought.

Let us liquify time together
Drown in the sea of infinity
You still linger in my mind
A torment so divine
Peculiar how absorbing
And how perishes all that is I
You are the intoxicating metaphor
For everything illuminating
And the loveliest of all
What makes the time melt
Like the sweet poison
Gliding across my doors of perception
Taking me to the sky
So vast
And making me feel the most a l i v e.



Dedicated to all those people that make me feel alive. The ones that make the gloomiest days living-worthy, the ones that count. The ones that magnify my better half.
I appreciate it more than you could imagine, thank you.

Mighty micro people/Les micro-gens puissants

We all have obligations, don't we? Isn't the feeling of getting something big done after a really long time, or something that just is Very Important? Of course, that makes us question the quality of importance. This is a question beyond open-ended. What I, myself, love the most about obligations and duties, is how procrastinate-able they are. I actually find procrastination and delaying healthy in some senses. Is it better to work efficiently for three hours and get the same thing done that one would gradually deal with for a week, little by little,? After all, the finale is still the same... To an extent, I believe the first one being a better option, or at least something that works better for me.
Procrastination is sometimes called rationalisation in psychologists' language (google for Freudian defense mechanisms). Finding a rational explanation for in reality escaping something. I love to use "motivation-seeking" as my excuse. Or retaining my life. For example, I should have written my Extended Essay last night, but instead, I first went to gym with Sonia, then after that to cinema (to finally see The Simpsons Movie), and finally we climbed on top of Paviljonki roof and just philosophised the night away with a wonderful starry sky, and the feeling of being the most alive. I know, it might sound like some pretentious crap explanation, but I truely do believe that one should always keep her priorities steady no matter how important the daily shit we have to deal with (i.e. obligations). The feeling of feeling alive is what sort of brings lightness to our thoughts, isn't it? The feeling of warmth in your solar plexus from being able to take it in and maybe even exaggerate slightly, just to feel the moment. Carpe momentum. If you have decided already to procrastinate with your duties, then the optimum thing is to switch off all the irrelevant thoughts apart from the very moment you're living. And just en-joy. Oh believe me, it makes everything much more efficient. It shakes your priorities, makes you see beauty and light again in life and brightens up even the dullest and most tedious thoughts. No matter what, just always remember to take a moment to enjoy life and switch off from everyday burdens. You'll come back to them after a while (but note, that's in the future, therefore irrelevant at the moment), and maybe even enjoy it a bit more. Beauty puts us to see things in a better life. I think it was Pam Morrison (Jim's wife) who said that she feels the most alive witnessing beauty, I so agree with her. The feeling alive part is something I almost love the most about life. The contentment you get is irreplaceable and indescribable in words.
In conclusion for this mazy pow-wow I would just want to say that take a moment to appreciate life and beauty in it, look up at the sky, take it all in. Seize the moment, and be thankful for what you've got!

Otherwise, I must admit that I'm surprised (maybe even in a slightly negative way), that some seemingly old stories have a tendency to float back on the surface, and then make you realise that you still mind. I guess it proves well that human memory is not as short as some people (including me) might think, and as Freud once ingeniously explained, things from the unconscious can reappear, even if they are repressed for one reason or an other (defense mechanism of our ego, perhaps). But apparently, this is a part of real life we have to deal with, also. Being able to move on is a great virtue. And even the gloomiest thoughts ever have their perks, which could be seen with opening eyes a tiny bit more (yes, yes, intertextual messages here).

Oh, and one more thing! Yesterday when I was out with Sonia, sitting in town, peoplewatching, a slightly-tipsy man comes to talk to us. I must say that this guy was the only drunkard I've ever attracted (I'm in general a good bum/drunk-magnet), who had a point to make. He was going on and on about how everything has become so money-oriented, superficial and all the true love is basically gone (he was preaching for quite a while with some enriching examples of life etc, but I'm not going to retell his whole sermon ) and so on. He really did have a point. Exceptional, for Jyväskylä (and drunkards in general, I believe it's fair to conclude).
Kids, listen to people - they sometimes might even make sense!

J'irai à Paris en deux semaines! Finalement! Je ne peux plus attendre. J'éspère que ça va être magnifique. Ben, Paris, en général est une ville superbe et extravagante, c'est pourquoi je ne doute pas du tout. Il y a beacoup à faire et voir, inclu Incubus. Encore, une drole observation - je trouvais que les gens deviennent comme leurs animaux, sérieusement! C'est amusant à regarder comme, par exemple, les chiens sont éxactement comme leurs propriétaires, ou inversement... Il y a beaucoup de gens dehors d'aujourd'hui, malgré le temps horrible. Il faut que j'aille maintenant. (Vous ne me comprenez plus de toute façon..)

Just so that you know I'm alive, sort of..

Okay, I do not know what is up with my Internet connection apart from it being gone. Vanished. Not there, for a week already. I'm at school right now, about to go fetch some free food (i.e. school lunch) and then off to practise and home. How very gay. I hope I'll get my connection to the world back very soon, otherwise I'll kill something, brutally.
How have the first school days been for you, beloved ones in Estonia? I sort of envy you, but then again, you guys should be giving me credit for having survived three weeks already!
And oh, just for the record, I'm going to Paris in 20 days. Just wonderful.

PS. Eat your veggies, get your vitamins. Those contagious bastardly diseases are so very common right now. I had the meanest stomach-flu kind of thing yesterday (not nice). So please do take care!