Quiero mucho

When you reach a seemingly dead end, it feels beyond helpless/hopeless. But hey, don't let the world bring you down, 'cause not everyone here is that f*cked up and cold (like these great lyrics in one song say). Staying positive might seem like the hardest thing to do, but in reality, when things are wrong, they seem 10000x more horrible than they really are. Stay positive. Even if it's -20'C outside and all you're wearing is a pair of Converse sneakers, it might seem like the world is just conveniently f*cking you in the face, but that's not the case. If there are 1000 things to bring you down, and make you unhappy, there is at least 1001 things to make you happy. Just open your eyes to them. It's the little things that make the world.
Feeling alone in the middle of a crowd must be one of the most horrible sensations for a person, but try not to forget that no-one wants to be alone. It all comes down to everyone just trying to fight the loneliness so desperately. More warmth, more warm feelings, more support. And it will be all good. And also stand up for the weaker. No-one deserves being treated unfairly.
It is up to you to make the difference you're craving for. Just do it (you Can).

Let go

The moment you close your eyes to the seeming reality, a new dimension unfolds.
What do you see behind clouds?
What is it that sends shivers down your spine?
In a drop of water a whole world hides,
a terrain so profound awaits you to close your eyes, and open your mind.
Open your mind.
Dare to dream, drift away.
Why are you so afraid of freedom?

Twists and turns

Why do we encounter the situations we do? Are all the things we have to put up with a test of some sort? Why does it seem that some people just have these tests all the time, stability and and calmness are way too much to ask for? Is it just them seeing the world through dark glasses? Is it fair that some people have it so much easier, while the others get f***ed in the face on a daily basis? Will they be "stronger" in the end, or is it just genuinely bad luck, and fate just favours some?

If someone finds answers to these questions, let me know. I'm dying to find out! :)

What makes me love life so much

This is something that opened my waterworks with absolute full power. It is a text that is going to be published in our Lyseon Kronikka (school chronics), and everyone in our class had to write a characterisation to someone. Juulia wrote mine. She is such a sweetheart, and dearer than I probably even realise myself. I love my friends so much, don't know what I'd do without you. Just know that... I do think about you guys all the time, even the ones that are a bit further away and the ones I don't really talk with on a daily basis. You're all in my heart, honeybunnies! Big, everlasting love!

Anyways, here it is:
A vibrant, adventurous girl born into the wrong generation. Her heart lies in the summertime of consciousness: the era of hippies, psychedelia and Jim Morrison. Nevertheless, she makes her own world by fearlessly stepping into the unknown - that's how she got herself from Estonia to Finland in the first place! Ave is always up for anything, may it be a crazy drum n' bass event or a quiet moment with tea and candles. She's the perfect company to have random, mindless conversations with, or with whom to indulge in pseudo-philosophical babble. She loves to travel and has taken off to Manchester and Paris during the past year, always with a random buddy from our class - both of which have surprisingly made it back. Overdosing on Starbucks, tea, cheddar and crisps, and getting a rainbow eye at an Arctic Monkeys concert, as well as a British accent ... And not to speak of the inside jokes of "chocolát, crazy woman tall, whiteboy slim feat. sorty", etc., stuff that the rest of our class has yet to quite figure out. Her trip to the States last summer opened new horizons in her life; Ave is happiest when she's leaning against the wind in San Fransisco, feeling weightless. Ave feels most alive when recognising beauty, and this she manages to encapture in her gorgeous photography and psychedelic drawings. Singing is also close to her heart; it's not a rare occasion to hear Ave suddenly burst out into song while standing in the lunch line. She's very outgoing and social, making her easy to befriend, but even her closest friends have yet to see all the sides that this intriguing, sparkly (and hopelessly dirty-minded) personality holds within. Though Ave is labile and has a craving for affection, she's incredibly independent and all the more reliable. There's nothing that she wouldn't do for her friends and family - not to speak of her home country. Ave is a patriotic Estonian and is incapable of holding her tongue when it comes to matters concerning her homeland.
Though greatly opinionated in many areas, Ave still possesses an open mind. She's also equipped with a notable amount of useless talents, such as her phenomenal "instant fog" effect. Ave's beauty, both inside and outside, has won over the hearts of many. She loves music and movies, and adventures in the twilight zone, which may end up even in the Swiss Embassy ... She's a genuine, caring person, and very cuddly!
It must also be said that she makes the best cheesecake and gives the best hand massages ever. If Ave would be an animal, she would definitely be a lemur: random, eccentric, maybe even slightly devious.
It's not easy to predict where Ave will wind up someday: it's just as likely for her to become a street photographer in Paris as it is for her to pursue her dream of being a pilot, soaring in the neverending skies. No matter what, there's something that can be said for sure about this mezmerising little bundle of Aveus ... Even though she has already lived a full, vibrant life so far, she will make sure that the best for her is yet to come.

Mindcircus

What if you have so much to say that you couldn't possibly fit it in words to spoon-feed it to those that should listen? The meaning the words carry is so often misjudged by those who give them out. To be able to talk to someone without the "energy loss" is one of those magic powers yet to be reached. It is sad to see how people communicate, but they do not actually understand each other. These flows always skew, never collide. People collide and conflict.
To hear without listening.
To listen without understanding.
To understand without perceiving.
To perceive without comprehending.
To comprehend mistakenly.
To misjudge the importance.

Why do we do it? I guess it might as well be one of those eternal questions to be sought an answer for, from the beginning of human existence, to the very last respite of the last one of us all.
But then again, the answer might also be that we are just not competent enough to actually seperate these things from each other. We are too blind to see anything beyond the surface. If we try and look through it, it tears us apart. De-mystifying life, I think, might actually turn its beauty against us. But go figure - who am I to even ponder about these things? I know that I don't know anything, as one smart man once has said, but I am still willing to seek for that ultimate truth. Or just peace of mind.
But right now, above all things, I would want daily trivial marginal happiness outweigh these way too heavy thoughts. So I'm waiting for it to come. I can feel a change, and I like the vibes around me. Patience is the keyword. Patient people have it so much easier!
I think I just lost this little train of thought. Therefore I shall make an attempt to practise some of that sleep-thingie.
And oh, I really wouldn't mind this change of direction. Not a tiniest bit:).

Your face reminds me of when I was old

Home?

Big furry head

Dreaming is to the mind like regular exercise is to the body. It is like reading a book is to your imagination.
It is what makes the real difference to you, in the form that there is always something higher to reach for - a goal set. Does not matter if it is too abstract to achieve in reality. It will keep you going, motivated.
Do dream, it's healthy. Dreams change the world.