On the verge of...

What's the use of feet if you haven't got legs?

[Telefon Tel Avin - john thomas on the inside is nothing but foam
Telefon Tel Avin - lotus above water(8)]

Today I read the whole day. I feel insipid. Insipid, but with a slight drop of hope that I might even pass my exams. Might.

Sometimes I'm wondering why on earth do I even write here. What's the use? A good cause? Where? To whom?

Kids, listen to good idm!

Your face reminds me of when I was old..

I remember the future!

"To be to somebody the cause of sufferings and joys, without having any right to it - is this not the sweetest possible nourishment for our pride?" /M.Lermontov, A Hero of our Time/

Isn't this one of those nasty truths that our poor minds so eagerly delight, yet so seldom dare to admit? We are obtruded by the moral and ethical normatives dictated by a recondite societal brainwash-system. Trying so phreneticly to differentiate ourselves from the rest of the gray masses, we just make up the very same one little particle in the big substance, trying to swim upstream.
So, what takes us/them/me/you down?

Or what do we really aspire for?

It's just one of those pseudo-philosophical wannabe moments of mine. To be taken with a hint of jest.
[St.Germain - So Flute]

My head feels like a frisbee.

I just hate it sometimes when things budge away from their normal axis and then nothing's right any more. For example, circardian rythms are something that can very easily be altered, even unintentionally. Even a little factor like having an exam the next day can just f*ck you up the following day. I suffered from mediocre insomnia last night. This morning I was just semi-dead. When I got back from town, in the afternoon, I fell asleep. Now it's 00:15 and I feel no fatigue whatsoever! It's kind of fascinating yet imbecile how easily human beings can be manipulated by.. something. And here's a fun fact: when I tried to enjoy sauna earlier, I could stay there for a few minutes only, because I got a brutal epistaxis (don't even ask me why I know this posh word for a nosebleed:D). Anyhow, this is some boring stuff.
Well, not that I would have anything too relevant to say anyways. My summer holiday starts in 5 days pretty much. This is rather pleasant.
I bought myself a cool new belt today, probably one of the coolest belts I've ever stumbled upon. It's men's. :D Krhm.
I'm going to read some Doctor Zhivago or some school stuff in order to get sleepy. I wonder if it's going to work..
[Jaga Jazzist - I have a ghost, now what?]

When everything else is gone.

I'm so fucking blank right now. And still I'm obliged to write my Psychology exam tomorrow. I've just produced 13 (hic!) pages of conspect and ... I don't think I know anything. Blank. Empty. Meaningless. Inaccessible. Blunt. Overproduced. Inefficient. Irrational. Senseless.
Yet there's hope. One week to go and I've put an end to it, for now.
[Bonobo - Sleepy Seven]

En fågel i handen är bättre än tio i skogen.

I feel sort of guilty for not having written anything relevant here for ages. This entry is no better either. My summer break starts in 10 days, basically. Within these 10 days I have to survive 4 mock exams, English WL essay and Math porfolio. Yay. I hope you can just feel the immeasurable excitement of mine.
It has been fairly intense latterly. I pretty much hate myself for procrastinating with everything I have to do, but I guess working under heaps of stress is the only way I can actually get anything done. Sucks to be me, but apparently we all have our own ways of floating our boats, yes?
Klute - Ambient Hell (8)
Amazing to think that in two weeks exactly I'm going to be on my way to SF... Mindblowing! Of course, the flight there is rather bitch, because it's about 14h, if I remember right. I am definitely going to be bedsore after this. You know, I have my blogger thingie here in Finnish and for the love of god, it does not sound/look/feel good at all. Why can't they just keep it simple and English? Speaking of English and Finnish languages... I'm turning finglish. My linguistic breakdowns are not even funny any more! It scares the hell out of my bum each time, but I mean... it's not normal for me to go speak Finnish to my English-speaking friends. Crazy stuff.
The stuff going on in Tallinn is not nice at all. I hope it will (c)ease soon.

My Winamp just went nuts. I should try to crawl into bed also. I drank too much of that heavenly Nepali tea earlier. Surprising how good an unflavoured simple black tea can taste. Oh and my mum also came back from Belgium and she brought me the best chocolate pralinés ever. Oh man, I've been (involuntarily) dieting for too long now. Happy days! Food!
I love food.

By the way, all plots and schemes seem to be untangling now, eventually. I guess it's a good thing. But you never know, you know. Those sneaky things sometimes just get you without you even noticing. And this is what I call a sticky situation.
Bee Gees - How Deep Is Your Love (8) (I don't even want to recall the version Aleksi sang:D... 'how deep is your ....') it's a cool song, though. It was cool singing it in the grocery with him. Nanananaaaa...

Okay, when one does not have anything functional to say, one should shut the f*ck up. Hence, I shall precipitate to the fortuitous oblivion discharge dormant stage that our lives provide us with. Not to sound sophisticated or anything.
Klute - Part of Me(8)