Every living creature on Earth dies alone.

Communication is so underrated. It is often said that words are overrated, but the lack of them nevertheless, gives birth to the biggest worries and problems in life. In this form, ignorance is not bliss, because if we don't really know what the other person thinks or wants to say, we will end up perplexing our little stupid heads with ideas that might not even be close to truth.
So, talk. Communicate. It might seem hard in the beginning to even tell your beloved ones how very dear they are to you really, but if you get used to it, it will be easier... and it will make your life easier, and theirs, of course, also.
As fate has the habit of playing tennis, and other games, wouldn't it be a real shame, if the person you hold so very dear, would just... leave... one day, not knowing that you loved them so much?

Note: The title of this post is a quote from one of my favourite films, Donnie Darko.

For mom.

Okay, this is odd, but really, my mom asked me to think of seven things I've heard in my life, but cannot really believe, and write them in my blog. She did that through her blog. This is what information society has lead to - even families communicate online. But to the point now: seven things I've heard, but don't believe.

1. Lightning never strikes twice. Not true. If you screw up something real bad once, it's absolutely guaranteed you will do it again.

2. Absence makes the heart grow fonder. It also makes the heart forget and move on, and stop deluding itself.

3. The wise learn from others' mistakes. Not true, because no-one ever really does, and I'm miserably failing in admitting that the whole human population is stupid. And even more, the lessons learnt from one's own mistakes are the lessons best learnt.

4. Money cannot buy happiness. This is only partially true, because money can provide objects for well-being, and what people nowadays are most often worried about, is money, in the end. So, if you have one thing less to worry about, aren't you more happy?

5. All human beings are good. They're not. They just aren't! There's so many bastards and evil people around manipulating and harming firstly our dear planet and secondly its inhabitants in every form.

6. Water is the best cure for a hangover when you have it already. Water only helps in preventing hangover, but when you have it already, water does not make you feel too good.

7. A drunk man's words are a sober man's thoughts. Drunk words are just drunk thoughts..

And as this is some sort of a thing that needs to be passed on, I'd like Linn, Hando, Lenno and Kristin also to think about it and write 7 things they don't believe in.

To ponder what I'm pondering

"Absence diminishes mediocre passions and increases great ones, as the wind extinguishes candles and fans fires." - Francois de La Rochefoucauld

"Faith consists in believing when it is beyond the power of reason to believe." - Voltaire

"Holding on to anger is like grasping a hot coal with the intent of throwing it at someone else; you are the one who gets burned." - Buddha

"The thermometer of success is merely the jealousy of the malcontents." - Salvador Dali

Above and beyond

What I've been contemplating about recently is the saying "ignorance is bliss". To what extent do I agree with it? In this post-modern society we live in, it seems that information (as in knowing) is all. But does it apply in every aspect of our lives? Let us consider some examples. There are those people among us that maybe don't do the "thinking regularly thingie" too much, or at least do not seem reach the levels some others do (I apologise for being stuck in stereotypes, but as I am a part(icle) of the society, I am therefore the victim of its illness). The kind of shallow and superficial people, whose priorities in life are predominantly finding an escort, and in order to do that, looking appealing 24/7 (sometimes I really wonder if those people wear their make-up also at night). The kind of behaviour attracts similar kind of individuals from the opposite gender. They wear their souls on their face, and therefore most often succeed in approaching the mate, because isn't it easy to fall for a person who does not seem to wear any shadows on their personality and depths? After finding the escort, all what life is about for them is fun and intoxicating pleasures. I find it a rather primitive demeanour, because the main objective for Homo neanderthalis was also the continuation of their race (in which they unfortunately failed), and as a derivative from there, finding shelter and food. It would be a gross case of reductionism to state that they do not think. Of course they do (I'm back to bashing the shallow people). But do they ever thing about things such as the meaning of (after)life, the existence and essence of God if it exists at all? What I have personally noticed is that abstract, immaterial and uncommon ideas do not seem to be of any relevance whatsoever. I think it is necessary to reapeat I am talking about stereotypes, which definitely do not apply everywhere.
The other kind of people is the kind that mostly surrounds me. At least in the inner circle. Cannot say, of course, that the (wannabe pseudo-)philosophical discussions are all there are, but very often, the discussion topics include something so abstract it is hard to reach some sort of universal truth or logical conclusion. I remember the last bigger discussion was on ToK cruise, when we first talked about learning about the human life and personality, and ended up with free will and whether everything is predestined or not. The more in depth the topic is discussed, the more questions yet to hash over arise. It could be said the people who think about those things are more aware (=less ignorant) of what is really going on in the world, even though they might not be competent to provide us with any answers or unquestionable truth. Isn't it so that these unanswered questions lead to distress and anxiety, because we might end up being sure about nothing?
So could it be deduced, from this very discussion, that ignorance is bliss, because in the end, when being ignorant, you are less distressed with the ugliness of the world, the fact that you can never ever be sure of anything, the fact that you are not going to be able to find out the real truth etc. ? To live in one's own little bubble = to live in a happy world, without these unanswered enigmas? I don't know.

It's just something to go on about forever. Mind food. And I find these two quotes by Socrates very appropriat here...
"Wisdom begins in wonder."
"I am the wisest man alive, for I know one thing, and that is that I know nothing."

How many of you people know you're alive? How many of you know you're Really Alive?

Foul with snot.

Yes, I'm quite runny at the moment. Not too bad, but definitely unpleasant, the feeling.
Things are perplexing and I'm still trying hard to achieve at least some level of understanding in various timely aspects surrounding me. More soliloquies to come up about those ponderings, but at the moment I just .. am. Maybe it is a good thing for a change?

With eyes blood red I await for the weekend to come.

Only at night I
See the catch so blunt
Perplexing or what

Haikus are underrated.

Go tell it to the trees, egghead!

Hello, everyone. I can say proudly that I managed to finish my Extended Essay, finally. I was struggling with it for way too long! I have to admit it would have probably been less painful for me, the whole process, I mean, but the way I am just won't let me do things at the right time. Therefore, I'm constantly in a rush and when relevant and prioritised things should be done, I'm reading something totally different, drawing or sweating at gym, or you know... Something like that:). Sometimes I don't even know myself where all my time goes. I swear there has to be a black hole somewhere just behind my back, following me everywhere. It sucks in the time and then I realise I've been spacing out again for hours and it's beyond late. Huh. Maybe some people just are not born with the time-managing gene. I'm a perfect example of this. Nevertheless, I keep deadlines, purely out of respect towards the people around me, but the cost will be my sleep and mental health. I think it's fair enough.
Today I got another thing, Math Porfolio (a mathematical investigation) done. Feels somewhat relieveing also. This weekend I don't have to stress too much with official crap, for a change, and I can just let loose and enjoy my home alone time. Mom is in Estonia again.
I actually spent my autumn holiday there myself, also. It was hectic, but nice. Managed to meet up with most of the people I really wanted to see, however a few of them yet to be seen. I hope to maybe get some Estonians over here also. Everyone's always making promises about coming to visit me here, but they rarely do... I hate it when promises made are not kept. What's the use of throwing meaningless words around, giving birth to pointless hope in others?
I am not certain, whether my mood-swings are to be tracked down to the neurotic essence of me, or just some random external mediators that try to manipulate my perception of things, but yes, moody I am. It's even bothering myself to a very great extent - how about the others then? How do the people around me cope with the bitchy me? I'm sowwy for being the way I am sometimes. I try hard, but I fail miserably in making it any better. However, it seems that there is some constant discontentment in me I cannot shake off. Absolutely no idea where it derives from. I am happy, in general, if you ask that. There is nothing wrong in my life at the moment. Maybe the thing causing my resentment is the fact that everything is sort of alright, but very... monochromatic, dull, and blunt?
In a way my emotions have come down to a more gravity-oriented ground. They are still as strong as they used to be some time ago, but they take into consideration also the little flaws around me. More objective towards the world, yes? Or just more forbearing?

It could also be that the autumn has now really crawled under my skin and the typical norhtern kaamos has hit me. I mean, people do adapt to the environment they live in, don't they? It sure seems to be one aspect of the instinct of self-preservation, for me. Thank goodness there still are some people who remind me every now and then, when I get too gloomy on their ass, that life is awfully nice in reality, and I'm just thinking too much and over-dramatising, as usually. So true. And some people are just way too amazing to be true, makes me wonder what I've done so very well that I've deserved you?! What would I do without you, guys :)? Big love.

It seems that my university picture is de-fogging now, finally. After being to this massive fair in Helsinki (Studia Messut), which is all about universities and colleges. My aces are set on London, Edinburgh, Dublin, Cardiff, Paris and Lyon. The two latter ones are a bit more unlikely, because studying in the UK is just so much cheaper. And living in France.. I would have to sell myself in the streets to be able to buy food, probably. So, I'll see about those. I don't mind living with my mom, she's the most wonderful thing on earth, but I have to admit, I cannot wait to move away. I've been craving for my own little home for so long now. Nothing too fancy or spectacular, but just my own cosy little place, where I can be on my own. I need space around myself, mentally. This little town atmosphere can get quite oppressing, sometimes. And a change also, cause restless is the way I am and can't really do anything about it... Yes, UK, here I come!

Try not to get too affection-deprived the way I am right now. It will get you all-angst and das ist nicht so gut! Listen to High Contrast's new album Tough Guys Don't Dance also! It's some seriously good stuff. And Commix in Helsinki almost rocked my sense perception, I loved it so much.
Do not mug youself. If you get my drift..