Sleeplessness

It's 6:42 am and I'm wide awake. Some thoughts (and an increasingly empty stomach) keep bugging me, and just won't seem to give me peace. The real title of this post should be Lack of Information[/Communication], which is a line from a song by a band I have much affection for. And it is also something that has been quite an actual issue. First, whenever my parents have some little issues, stupid insignificant fights, I've always reminded them that Talk, Talk, Talk is what is needed to avoid those misunderstandings - just say 2 more sentences what you would keep in just to defy the other. Easy to say for a bystander. Sounds so stupidly simple, but works with the same fool-proof simplicity. Every time.
The second aspect is misjudging people. Happens every day, with everyone of us. In reality I suspect it cannot even Ever be completely avoided. It's just the way us humans are built. We already have a filter called mouth/verbal expression that sifts the information coming from our brains. The second filter in between is time. The third one would be the intake-formation of the receptor, ears or eyes mostly. The fourth, and also the most important filter, is the preset tune of who takes in what we give out. All those filters add to what causes all the misjudges, misunderstandings, misgodknowswhatmores.. They are impossible to eliminate, but could be diminished to almost zero, through experience. This last filter (and probably partially the first one for not picking the words used carefully enough) makes a compliment coming from one brain look like a breach of sacredness, attack, or just simple picking a fight to the other part. This is an overdoing of an example, but still illustrates what I mean the best.
The cool thing about friends is that you can let your guard down with them. You don't need to think through every single word you use, or the intonation, there's usually enough wordless communication to catch the thought from the air, so to say. Recently I've learnt with quite a bit of negative surprise that this is not how it really works. The more unexpected the blow comes, the more painful. Don't want to sound extra feeble, but when you realise how wrong the person you thought knew from half way, without words, what you meant, it's quite a stab in the back by unceremonious reality. You don't know why it really has gone wrong, but as time passes it leaves an eerie feeling that it will not go away any more. No matter how or what you'd say. Anything and everything can be easily turned against anyone, and once it unleashes, it doesn't seem to be undoable. Makes you think that maybe it was there from the very beginning - just a volcano erupting you once thought was a harmless mountain.
Crazy how people complicate their lives. Such simple things are twisted and turned, and who eventually suffers, are the twisters and turners. I guess it's a thing coded in us long ago - just can't have it (= life) easy.
I see the third, and perhaps the most raw occurrence of miscommunication, in our own heads. It's a one-to-one battle with your own brain. The hardest nut to crack. Self-deception happens all the time, we filter reality to ourselves, or just comfortably ignore some thought. Later on, when the thing comes up, we're in quite a bundle with our own thoughts, not that easy to disentangle. Some of us end up in mad-houses, the others cry their eyes out before going to bed, and wake up with a clear head. The most fucked up scenario is having conflicting things in your head. It's usually reason fighting emotion. Psychologists call it cognitive dissonance, and suggest several techniques for getting over it, but practice has shown that no other technique than time really helps. Maybe something else would work for people with lower levels of incapability.

But wouldn't it be nice if everything comes out the way intended? Not in the course of our lives, no, that would be plain boring (everything you do comes out nice? naaah.. I'll rather take some detours). But looking back at history, I suspect that so many big conflicts, maybe even the World Wars, have been a result of a petty little friction caused by miscommunication, and too little information..

And despite the world seemingly being aware of those issues, they are virtually impossible to avoid in reality. Or is it unwillingness instead of frecklessness? Makes me really damn sad when I realise once again how much is wrong. (But then the beauty smacks you in the face, and the perfect balance is back. That's how it goes - everyfuckingthing is in balance. Empty spaces are not tolerated. Action - reaction. )

It's 7:29am now, and I'm still not sleepy. Maybe it's better to wake up?